August 15, 2022

Early frontrunner for most unlikely debate topic 2022

In a surprising corner of the internet we never thought we’d stumble across, it would seem people on social media are debating what the proper name for a chopping board is.

If you thought the answer was, well, chopping board, you’d be right. Nevertheless, plenty of other people would beg to differ. Let chaos and confusion commence.

As you can see, it was writer, critic and podcaster Caspar Salmon who opened up this can of worms and, regardless of how intriguing the results may be, we really don’t why.

We can only assume the question reared it’s head after a surprising conversation with someone led him to learn that not everyone calls the typical plastic and wooden surfaces most people prepare their food on chopping boards.

As it turns out, some call them stuff like this:

I’ll say it once and calmly, for now… what?

Some people into the confusing territory of bread, cheese and charcuterie boards; we didn’t even entertain those, we were simply too confounded by all the other options.

Oh, come off it – “grub plank”, “lil’ ol’ dice batten”, “beef plinth” – what are you talking about?!

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Plenty of them make sense to a degree but fundamentally neglect the fact that they’re called chopping boards because that’s simply what they are: boards for chopping stuff on.

Again, while the etymology and almost nominatively deterministic nature of some help provide some clarity and certainly provide some interesting alternatives, we just can’t get over the sheer variety of words for something we thought was pretty universal.

We can only assume this a joke but, nonetheless, it might be up there as our favourite:

Honestly, there are so many different words people use instead of simply calling them chopping boards on this thread, we encourage you to waste at least a portion of your Saturday night looking through them. Please.

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